Is that a fact?

[Omegonthesane]

~ exists in more dimensions than mere humans cannot possibly comprehend, and I don't mean metaphorically. Unfortunately, he thus must perform a ritual every day involving caffeine to maintain his grip on the usual three.

[~]

Meanwhile, Omegon strives to tighten his grip on three dimensions not generally noticed by humankind, in order to sell them off piece by piece when their utility is eventually 'discovered' by mainstream science.

[Pureferret]

~ requires gravel to pronouce the gagh surface dwellers names.

[Omegonthesane]

PF requires gravel to make his signature cake.

[Pureferret]

Omegonthesane is a swear word in 18 dead languages.

[~]

Abhorring all cuss words, PF slaughtered all those able to speak such languages, ensuring that these boards would remain free from their taint.

[Pureferret]

~ doesn't realise how true he is.....

[Omegonthesane]

PF owns land in several different realities, and through the wonders of portals he's using their combined area to build a theme park.

[Pureferret]

Omega has wandered themeparks claiming land as his own....

[~]

After rigorous prospecting for oil, coal, maple syrup and other valuable underground deposits during the planning phase of his theme park, PF finally found use for his multidimensional holdings as a way for salmon to escape bears. The Union of Bears has placed a bounty on his head in all 16 dimensions in which his land resides. After a number of messy cases, being in proximity to both PF and a bear simultaneously was legally defined as suicide.

[Pureferret]

~ no longer has a bear with him, after this debacle.

[Omegonthesane]

PF is followed all the time by a pair of invisible zombies, trained never to bite him.

[Pureferret]

O can sew using song as his thread.

[~]

PF can emit pheromones which instils utter loyalty in everyone around him. Unfortunately, what they are loyal to is based on what they had for lunch, and how long their fingernails are.

[Pureferret]

~ is 70% polyurethane

[~]

Surveys have shown that PF cannot quote statistics to within +/- 5% of their actual value.

[Omegonthesane]

When ~ quotes or makes up a statistic, reality adjusts to make his citation true. The universe has exploded and been remade at least three times because he misquoted the number of protons in various elements.

[Pureferret]

Omega had to fill in the paper work for those times...

[~]

Using a library computer, PF managed to find a printer located outside the know universe, which no one else has managed to access. Oddly, he gets a lot of requests for printing forms.

[Pureferret]

~ uses butter with style