Is that a fact?

[Pureferret]

Omeg is getting better at these!

[~]

Every Thursday, PF finds a list in his wallet, written in green ink. He's never deciphered the writing, but it seems to move across the page to stay out of focus when he tries to read it.

[Omegonthesane]

~ owns a grimoire which can only be deciphered by pinning the pages to the wall and sprinting past them.

[~]

Omegon really is getting good at these...

[Pureferret]

~ is allergic to sine waves....

[Omegonthesane]

PF is allergic to Mexican waves.

[~]

Omegon is allergic to hand-waves. If you can't give a detailed explanation, he breaks out in a rash. Well, something like that anyway.

[Omegonthesane]

~ can resurrect the dead by singing. Unfortunately, the sound is easily mistaken for torturing cats.

[~]

Omegon has a device fitted to his inner ear which converts the sound of a cat being tortured into the Care Bears theme tune.

[Pureferret]

....unfortunately ~ does not sing.

[~]

PF's ribcage actually comprises an intricate origami crêpe paper sculpture. How it still produces blood cells is a mystery to medical science.

[Pureferret]

~ oozes caffeine, which crystallizes whilst he sleeps into the most delicious caffeinated sugar ever. Too bad he never sleeps!

[~]

PF is occasionally tailed by members of the SCP Foundation, before the investigation is suddenly forgotten about and the agents returning with fish & chips for everybody. Sometime later an archivist will discover the case still open and he'll be tailed again. Correlating all these incidents together, it appears that PF is never more than 12 miles from a chippy.

[Pureferret]

~ can feed his consciousness into CCTV camera, motion detectors and tills. Though why the last one is anyone's guess!

[~]

PF's ankles are non-euclidean.

[Pureferret]

~ sock drawer is named old faithful. Either they have gained sentience and take the shape of a sock-dog or the drawer spews socks at regular intervals. Eitherway, ~ is always see stuffing socks back into his sock draw.

[~]

PF can always see the Sci-Fi fora out of the corner of his eye. The other corner switches between Livejournal and Facebook.

[Pureferret]

~no longer has eyes. Don't be silly, elves don't need ears.

[~]

PF can interface any two electronic devices together with some blu-tack and a length of twine. The connection speed rivals 56kbps with cotton, but jumps to 16mbps with hemp.

[Pureferret]

Whenever ~ reads print, the ink evaporates off the page.